this beer tastes like vomit already
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I still have a little drunk in my system
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
