Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
