this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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