Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
