Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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