tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
