If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
