dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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