I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
