I want to make a zoo with you.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
