I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
