After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize