can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
