I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
