Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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