Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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