okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
