i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
