My first STD was from a foam party
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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