He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
