This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
