just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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