Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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