she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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