If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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