you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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