I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
