I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
