with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
