from now on my penis is your penis
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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