No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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