it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
