Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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