yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
