Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't shave. On purpose
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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