Moan for me like Helen Keller
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
