Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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