All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
