More tranny stories later!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i out mim tonsoeep
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
