Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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