not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
