fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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