therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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