You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
