brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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