The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize