It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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