Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
