Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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