I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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