Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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