he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
