Will you blow on my dice?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
