Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
