that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
