Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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