I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
