In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
