I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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