My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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