So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
